Apparently, it's quantity over quality

I'm not sure about in your little corner of the world, loyal reader, but there is an alarming trend in mine about which I feel the need to vent. It seems no matter where we (by we, I mean my family) go, no matter which brand name we choose to consume on any given day, we cannot, for the life of us, get our fast food order prepared correctly.  Every time (and I literally mean EVERY time) my family and I choose to partake of fast food, there is something wrong with our order, whether it be a major piece of our order missing or getting no straws for our drinks, etc.  We live in a very small town within reach of several urban areas and it seems no matter which city we're in or which food we choose, it's always the same.  My wife and I have taken to checking everything before we ever leave the window now because undoubtedly something will be amiss.  And, on those days when the kids are particularly rowdy or I don't want to hold up the line, and drive away without checking, well, that is the day that one of the brainiacs in McDonald's will have forgotten to put the fries in my son's Happy Meal or decided I really didn't need that fish sandwich after all.  It has become so bad in one city we frequent that I refuse to go to the McDonald's there anymore (I refuse until I want a cheap drink and then wait twenty minutes for my large coke).  I know these people are not paid particularly well, but as the old saying goes, it really is not rocket science.  You look at a piece of paper or a computer screen with my order on it and you put those items in my bags.  Yet, time and again, this seems to be too much of a task for my local fast food workers.  And lest someone starts to opine that it's because most of the employees don't speak English, it's really not the case.  We live in a very rural area of Indiana.  The small cities we frequent for our fast food purposes have very low minority populations.  Although I've had instances where it seems the person who took my order must've been foreign, because what they typed on their little screen bore little resemblance to what I actually ordered, my escapades at the fast food establishments near my home have nothing to do with majority of the workforce being from Mexico.

  Now, I will share with you what I consider the penultimate story in terms of fast food debauchery.  Every single word of this is absolutely true.  It happened to me about ten years ago, when I lived in a suburb of Indianapolis near the airport. The closest McDonald's to me at that point was about ten minutes away, so this wasn't a case where I could just walk across the street and get my issue remedied. 

One morning, I awakened and decided that some hotcakes from McDonald's sounded awfully good.  I got in my vehicle and drove to the location, dreaming of steaming hotcakes bathed in sticky goodness (minds out of the gutter, friends).  I arrived, ordered my deluxe big breakfast (I'm a big guy.  Although the hotcakes were the object of my desire, I needed more to placate my hunger pangs).  For those not familiar with the McDonald's menu, the deluxe big breakfast comes with eggs, sausage, a biscuit and, because it's the deluxe, hotcakes.  It all comes in a Styrofoam tray with a lid.  Given that at this time my foibles with fast food were not nearly at the level they are today, I got my order and drove away, all the way dreaming of those tender, succulent hotcakes drenched in warm syrup.  I arrived home, removed the tray's lid and, like a kid on Christmas day, I couldn't wait to unwrap what lay in front of me.  Imagine my disappointment when I turned the bag upside down and found that I had no syrup. No syrup for hotcakes?!  True, I had not asked for syrup but who orders hotcakes and doesn't want syrup?  As a bachelor at the time, syrup did not make the list of essential food items that I stored in my home.  So, here I was, mouth watering, visions of syrup drenched hotcakes dancing in my head and no syrup!  Dry hotcakes just don't conjure up the same dietary nirvana.   

No big deal, eh?  Well, that's not the end of the story.  As I said, I was a bachelor at the time and so fast food made up a great deal more of my diet than it does now. About a week later, those visions of hotcakes invaded my thoughts again and I endeavored to drive to the McDonald's.  This time, I was determined to not leave the window without my syrup. I ordered my food, stating very forcefully to both the order taker and the person at the window that I MUST have syrup and that their fellow McDonaldites had caused me quite the consternation on my previous trip. I ordered the same deluxe big breakfast and was tickled to see several packages of that syrupy goodness residing at the bottom of my bag.  All was good with the world again. 

I arrived home, barely able to contain my excitement, removed the Styrofoam tray from the bag and threw off  the lid.  My McDonald's friends had remembered my syrup but they had forgotten my freaking HOTCAKES!  ARRRRRRRRRR!

Okay, now I feel better.  I hope this finds you doing well and that all of your trips to fast food establishments result in you receiving all your food, necessary condiments, etc.  Ta ta for now!