My goal when I began this blog was to try and write one entry a day so as to keep my readership (all 2 of you) entertained. Some days that will be easy, some days not so much. Today is one of those days. My weekends tend to be quite full so I sit here with less than three hours to meet my stated goal. I will do so, although probably not as thoroughly or as perfectly as I'd like (note to readers, I tend to be my own worst critic, especially when it comes to my writing). On those days I may fall short in whatever way, I will try and make it up to you some other day. Anyway, most of you probably do not know (most would mean more than one of you since there are only two) but I have also dabbled in comedy. I have under my belt, one comedy club performance (please don't ask how it went. I had some sort of out of body experience. There was a Ted Nugent concert in the club next door and I think I may have been there) and my friend and I have developed a sitcom which will hopefully come to fruition someday. I say these things not to brag, but rather to set up my rather paltry offering this Saturday evening. I routinely make observations and write them down, should I ever once again stand in front of a crowd trying to make them laugh. These are the subject of my blog today.
Times are tough. A lot of people these days use every dollar they make just to pay the bills. Something's gotta give and that something is often discretionary spending such as entertainment. But fear not, loyal readers! Fleve has the answer! There is a FREE way to get all the laughs you can handle (and no, it's not watching Dr. Drew when he has Jodi Arias supporters calling in, although that is a reasonable substitute). If you want to have the time of your life literally for free, then all you have to do is the following....
Turn on your TV. Tune it to a live program (news, etc). Turn on the closed captioning and let the laugh riot begin!
I swear I am not making this up. Sometimes when I'm bored on a Saturday night (before I started my blog of course), I flip on the TV and the closed captioning. You will not believe the hilarious things that the captioner says. I swear sometimes there are deaf people doing the captioning because some of the things that show up in black and white at the bottom of my screen are so unbelievable.
One Sunday morning, I happened to be flipping through the channels and stopped on a Catholic mass. I was born and raised Catholic and have seen enough masses in my life to save the souls of a billion people. I was not doing this for entertainment. Some morbid part of me just wanted to see how a TV mass was done. The captioning was on, as it routinely is at our house. (My wife swears I'm deaf but I believe it's just that she has bionic hearing-insert corny bionic music here). Anyway, I watched for just a couple of minutes. There is a part in the Catholic mass, right after the recitation of the Our Father where another prayer is said. Part of that prayer is "as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Lord....". The person captioning this however typed "as we wait in joyful hope for the coming OUT of our Lord...". IMAGINE my surprise. Twelve years of Catholic school and I had no idea.......Jesus is gay? Who knew?
This morning, I'm watching the local weather and the caption says "jews of rain". Now, I wasn't watching it per se but I did see the captioning and began to wonder, what are "jews of rain"? Is that sorta like a Hasidic jew? I still am not sure.
One last tidbit and I'll close on this mediocre installment. My in-laws live in a small Indiana town just outside of Muncie (home of Ball State University). Anyone who has been to a small town knows that sometimes different types of establishments are combined out of necessity. But I had never seen the likes of a combination like there is in Yorktown, IN. Along the main street in downtown Yorktown is Yorktown Nutrition and Hobby. I am so excited! I can't tell you how many times in my life I have awakened and thought "I need vitamins and I need some airplane glue. I wish there was one place I could get both!" And there are STILL people who believe there is no God. Go figure.
That's it for now loyal reader. I just want to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have read my blog and the wonderful comments that have been offered. I look forward to dazzling you again later. Ta ta for now!
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