Apparently, the dynamic duo of Kirk Nurmi and Jennifer Wilmott of Jodi Arias trial fame are back at it again. In their bid to shatter the Guiness World Record for most non-sensical motions in a jury trial, Bigfoot and his teenaged sidekick have filed yet another ridiculous brief with the beleaguered court. Rumor has it, that Ms. Wilmott owns stock in several paper companies and is attempting to use her position to increase the value of her investments.
This time, Wilmott and Nurmi are attempting to have the new penalty phase of the Arias trial delayed until January of next year. The world's most infuriating defense team cites as excuses.....errr.....reasons for the proposed delay two separate items: 1) That Nurmi has been on a nonstop eating binge to soothe himself since his number one client was found guilty of premeditated murder. This has resulted in his gaining an additional 100 lbs and both rendering his fashionable wardrobe about 10 sizes too small and preventing him from finding his penis. He estimates it would take him at least until Christmas to remedy the latter problem and 2) that Jen has far too many sorority engagements this summer to be bothered by an annoying trial. As an alternative, Nurmi has proposed that a hearing be held where he gets to question all the witnesses. This should delay things at least until 2020.
This observer hopes that the judge has enough sense to see through these despicable ploys. My bet is that she grants it, at least to some degree, because she's so paranoid about appellate issues. My money is on starting around November, which is totally unfair to the Alexander family. But hey, this is America, the home of the brave and the land of free cable for inmates.
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